If wishes were horses then beggars would ride,
If turnips were swords I’d have one by my side.
If ‘ifs’ and ‘ands’ were pots and pans
There’d be no need for tinkers hands!¹
I wish I were…
If you had only one wish for your life (or even three), what would you wish for? Something for yourself, or for a loved one? For the world at large? If you could change yourself or your life, what would you want?
Snow White wished for the one she loved to find her… Tevye wished to be a wealthy man. On a more whimsical note, Paul Simon wished to be a Kellogg’s Corn Flake or an English muffin. The incredible Mr. Limpet wished to be a fish. All of these were meant as fixes for the current stresses in their lives.
And what would I wish for? Focus.
I’m generally a very happy and easygoing person the outside, but I’m sure many people who know me would describe me as a little manic. That’s because I’m a “high functioning” ADHD adult. I keep lists and calendars. Microsoft Outlook saved me at work, redirecting me regularly. Because I catalog things so I can find them again, people think I’m organized… but these are all devices. It’s all smoke and mirrors, folks.
In real life, I’m always a little afraid of losing track of something. My home office and other private spaces always look a little like a cyclone just hit them, and that’s pretty much a reflection of what’s going on in my head. I ramble, I babble, I digress. I’m fascinated by a thousand things (can you say bright shiny object?) and it’s been ever thus. I can’t remember a time when I stayed focused without some powerful incentive.
This is why I plan our vacations down to the hour (I do leave free times), still keep Outlook on my phone and computers (even though I’m retired), and need a list when I go shopping. It’s also why I can lose hours to web-browsing. Everything is interesting; everyone is interesting.
It is sometimes frustrating not to have the built-in restraints and disciplines some people’s minds enjoy. Often, especially when I was in school or working, I wished I were more focused. Now I fear I’m not always making the best use of the wonderful gift of retirement.
But would I give up my hunger to know more about everything? Would I like it if I couldn’t see many sides of an issue at once? Would I survive staying on one track for a prolonged time? Absolutely not.
OK, maybe I wish I were a little more focused. I wish I hadn’t babbled and interrupted people sometimes. I wish I’d studied more when I was lucky enough to be in school with wonderful teachers. I wish I didn’t misplace things so easily because I get distracted. But overall, I’ve learned to love my crazy kaleidoscope world. I am, after all, what they call high functioning, which my kids and friends probably think is pretty darn funny.
So… I wish I were more focused because life would be somewhat easier for me and those I love, but I was made the way I am for a reason, and truth be told, I’m very grateful for the life I have.
I’d never really wish it away.
This post was written in response to a WordPress Weekly Writing Challenge. This week’s theme was I wish I were… To see other bloggers’ wishes, click here.
Image credit: © Igor Nazarenko – Fotolia.com
¹ Old Scottish Nursery Rhyme