I’m Wishing…..

Posted on October 31, 2012 by The Retiring Sort

If wishes were horses then beggars would ride,
If turnips were swords I’d have one by my side.
If ‘ifs’ and ‘ands’ were pots and pans
There’d be no need for tinkers hands!¹

I wish I were…

If you had only one wish for your life (or even three), what would you wish for? Something for yourself, or for a loved one? For the world at large? If you could change yourself or your life, what would you want?

Snow White wished for the one she loved to find her… Tevye wished to be a wealthy man. On a more whimsical note, Paul Simon wished to be a Kellogg’s Corn Flake or an English muffin. The incredible Mr. Limpet wished to be a fish.  All of these were meant as fixes for the current stresses in their lives.

And what would I wish for?  Focus.

I’m generally a very happy and easygoing person the outside, but I’m sure many people who know me would describe me as a little manic.  That’s because I’m a “high functioning” ADHD adult.  I keep lists and calendars.  Microsoft Outlook saved me at work, redirecting me regularly.  Because I catalog things so I can find them again, people think I’m organized…  but these are all devices. It’s all smoke and mirrors, folks.

In real life, I’m always a little afraid of losing track of something. My home office and other private spaces always look a little like a cyclone just hit them, and that’s pretty much a reflection of what’s going on in my head. I ramble, I babble, I digress.  I’m fascinated by a thousand things (can you say bright shiny object?) and it’s been ever thus.  I can’t remember a time when I stayed focused without some powerful incentive.

This is why I plan our vacations down to the hour (I do leave free times), still keep Outlook on my phone and computers (even though I’m retired), and need a list when I go shopping. It’s also why I can lose hours to web-browsing.  Everything is interesting; everyone is interesting.

It is sometimes frustrating not to have the built-in restraints and disciplines some people’s minds enjoy.  Often, especially when I was in school or working, I wished I were more focused. Now I fear I’m not always making the best use of the wonderful gift of retirement.

But would I give up my hunger to know more about everything? Would I like it if I couldn’t see many sides of an issue at once? Would I survive staying on one track for a prolonged time?  Absolutely not.

OK, maybe I wish I were a little more focused.  I wish I hadn’t babbled and interrupted people sometimes. I wish I’d studied more when I was lucky enough to be in school with wonderful teachers. I wish I didn’t misplace things so easily because I get distracted. But overall, I’ve learned to love my crazy kaleidoscope world. I am, after all, what they call high functioning, which my kids and friends probably think is pretty darn funny.

So… I wish I were more focused because life would be somewhat easier for me and those I love, but I was made the way I am for a reason, and truth be told, I’m very grateful for the life I have.

I’d never really wish it away.

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This post was written in response to a WordPress Weekly Writing Challenge. This week’s theme was I wish I were…   To see other bloggers’ wishes, click here.

Image credit:  © Igor Nazarenko – Fotolia.com

¹ Old Scottish Nursery Rhyme

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34 Responses to I’m Wishing…..

  1. eof737 says:
    November 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    I hear you… Focus is a great one to wish for… I could use some too. Love the quilted pattern on your post… 😉

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  2. Madhu says:
    November 3, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    I am equally distracted with things I am not totally involved with. But I agree with the others, your focus here is remarkable! Here’s wishing all your wishes come true 🙂

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  3. Madoqua says:
    November 2, 2012 at 6:34 am

    Wishing is a bit like dreaming about things. It never hurts to dream and wish about things, as long as reality is not ignored as a result! A delightful post and I am sure you are very lovely just the way you are!

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    • The Retiring Sort says:
      November 2, 2012 at 12:02 pm

      Thanks so much. And I agree that wishes need to be kept in their place – whenever I wished for something extravagant or self-serving, my Papa would recite, “If wishes were horses…” But dreams are lovely, and keep us moving forward. All the best. 😉

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  4. ivfmale says:
    November 1, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    I envy your ability smoke and mirror your organization. I’ll get all organized, then forget where I put something I’m looking for. I’ll search and search to the point where I will finally find it and go, ”
    That makes perfect sense why I put it there.” Does that help me remember it next time I need the object…nope.

    ADHD just sucks!

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    • The Retiring Sort says:
      November 1, 2012 at 1:37 pm

      It does – but I didn’t know I had it until I was in my 40’s, and by then had been compensating for a looong time! At work I always took time to file things immediately – I knew I’d never get back to them otherwise. I try to establish patterns I don’t break, which help a bit for finding things, but I did once find my keys in the fridge! Mostly I laugh a lot, and my husband is very patient with me!

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  5. bulldogsturf says:
    November 1, 2012 at 12:16 am

    I wish I could give you my wish, then you could wish for more….

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    • The Retiring Sort says:
      November 1, 2012 at 12:54 pm

      Thanks so much for this kind sentiment, but you must keep your wishes for your own family. We each have strengths and challenges, and find ways to use or compensate for them. I am really so blessed, and the generosity of other bloggers is a lovely bonus in my life! Thanks again for stopping by to share your good wishes. 😉

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  6. Imelda says:
    October 31, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    Before I was distracted by children trick or treating and cooking, I was going to say that I find myself in this post. I just have difficulty focusing sometimes, often, rather.

    Your work in your blog – whether it be an essay or a photograph – is always well done. It certainly shows a triumph over whatever difficulty you might have. And that is inspiring. 🙂

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  7. adinparadise says:
    October 31, 2012 at 9:34 pm

    “If ifs and ands were pots and pans.” That took me back a long way. 🙂

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  8. alifedelightful says:
    October 31, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    That is beautiful! I agree. I myself lack focus but while being frantic and chaotic is sometimes stressful , I find that it is also what adds most of the beauty to my life as well and I wouldn’t change ( I just need more yoga) 🙂

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  9. firstandfabulous says:
    October 31, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    If wishes were horses…
    I haven’t heard that in forever. A now long gone friend said that to me once. It made me remember his sweet soul fondly today. I wish people didn’t die so young. I wish older folks, like my mom, could live out their lives pain free. I wish the politicians would get along – like the President and Governor Christie are doing with this crisis in my state of New Jersey. Kudos to them. That’s the way it SHOULD be.
    I wish I could make all my wishes come true.
    You made me think. Ouch! Kidding.
    Great post.

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  10. fotograffer says:
    October 31, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    You are not alone. Which, I guess, means I am not alone. Wow, that’s nice to know. 🙂 At this stage in my life, though, I am trying to cut myself a little slack, but it is not easy. I keep a calendar too, but tend to ignore it. As I often say, “Its not easy being me.”

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  11. Piglet in Portugal says:
    October 31, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    I wish I had a geni in the lamp. That way I could make lots of wishes. Love your poem!

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  12. lexiesnana says:
    October 31, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    I love your focus in this blog.You don’t know how many times by reading your words you have made me hit the refocus button.We are many I am sure and you don’t even know it.

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  13. campfirememories says:
    October 31, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    You have nice focus here. Thank you for writing so well.

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