Father’s Day Remembrances

A few weeks ago, my Future Challenge asked what your legacy will be.

ROBBABY (2)I started blogging long after my Dad passed away, and so he hasn’t been featured much in my posts. Still, he was a big influence in my life, my sister’s life, my step-sisters’ lives, the lives our children, and the lives of his siblings and their families.

Rob was the oldest son in a family of seven children. He learned early to be a short order cook, and in high school he always had at least one job. He was everybody’s confidant and friend. He was a second Dad to some of his younger siblings, and to my step-sisters.

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Dad also followed his father into a career as a structural engineer. He saw many things, when I was younger, in black and white or right and wrong. In my teen years (the 1960’s) we had many “animated” discussions, and some serious disagreements. I learned that he couldn’t fix everything, and that (like everyone else) he wasn’t always right.

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He was more than 6’4″ tall, and although he raised his voice when he was passionate about something (he was also hard of hearing), he never needed to use force to make a point. He was openly warm and affectionate, and his inclination was to give everyone a chance. He could be very silly, even goofy, with us, and he unfailingly loved his family and friends. He loved being a father and grandfather.

 Dad, Mom, Stepmom, and their grandkids

Dad, Mom, Stepmom, and their grandkids

YOUNGROBHe taught me to add columns of numbers, and to “save my tears for something important.” He showed me how to caulk a window and change a tire, and to always opt for kindness. He gave us a love of sports, but also shared a love of music with my mother, and with us. He encouraged us in everything we did, and assumed we could do anything we set out to do.

He taught me what to expect in a man – responsibility, strength, humor, warmth, kindness – and respect.

Thanks for your legacy, Daddy – and Happy Father’s Day!

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Future Challenge – Could You Live Overseas?

Challenge #24

Have you ever thought of living in another country – or retiring to one?

My beloved would love to move around – getting a flat for six months or so in each of the cities and we’d love to explore – Vienna, Paris, London, maybe somewhere in South or Central America… and then eventually come home.

We’ve even looked into places that have groups of ex-patriot Americans. We know we would probably enjoy these places, at least for a time. But we can’t seem to get our minds around moving away from the U.S. “for good.” I’m not sure if we’re not brave enough, or it just isn’t the right move for us.

Could you leave your “stuff” and move to another country, for financial or other reasons? If so, where do you think you’d want to go? If you’ve already done that, do you think you might ever return to your native country to live?

As part of my retirement theme,  I offer this weekly Thursday “Future Challenge” to get people of all ages thinking in general about their futures and/or retirement. Each challenge goes with a post of my own on the same general topic. Hopefully we’ll start some interesting discussions!

If you’d like to share what you think, or post on it, that’s great – and I’d love it if you’d share those thoughts in a post or comment (please tag posts TRS Future Challenge and link to this post) so others can also see them.

If you choose not to share them, that’s fine too – but with any luck, you’ll still gain some insight on where you’re headed (or would like to be), and how you can get the most out of your own journey.

For my own take on this week’s challenge, see my post, Flag Day – or – How I Grew Up With Old Glory.

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Flag Day – or – How I Grew Up With Old Glory

US flagYou’re a grand old flag,
You’re a high flying flag
And forever in peace may you wave.
You’re the emblem of
The land I love.
The home of the free and the brave.
Ev’ry heart beats true
‘neath the Red, White and Blue,
Where there’s never a boast or brag.
But should auld acquaintance be forgot,
Keep your eye on the grand old flag.
– George M. Cohan,  Chorus of You’re a Grand Old Flag
 

Two weeks ago, I was driving in the car with my seven year old grandson. He was happily singing songs from a disk of children’s songs he loves, and broke into the chorus of You’re a Grand Old Flag. I joined in, and he giggled.

“Grandma, you know this song?”

I smiled. Well, of course I do. I’ve known it since I was about his age. We Baby Boomers were caught between the lingering patriotic fervor that followed World War II and the brewing Cold War. Like many other generations, we often sang patriotic songs in school and we said the Pledge of Allegiance daily with our hands over our hearts. We were taught proper flag etiquette and protocols. We marched in our town parades, and we all knew, and most lived with, veterans.

I grew up in the shadow of the Cradle of Liberty – outside of Philadelphia,  on the path between Washington’s Crossing and Valley Forge. John Philip Sousa and his band had famously played in the band shell at the nearby amusement park in bygone Summers. Sousa was the author of many well-known patriotic songs, including the rousing (if a little militant) Stars and Stripes Forever.

Hurrah for the flag of the free!
May it wave as our standard forever,
The gem of the land and the sea,
The banner of the right.
Let despots remember the day
When our fathers with mighty endeavor
Proclaimed as they marched to the fray
That by their might and by their right
It waves forever.  
– John Philip Sousa, Chorus of Stars and Stripes Forever
 

Tomorrow is Flag Day, and so today I’ve been giving some thought to how I’ve grown up with our flag,

The Stars and Stripes are a symbol of the United States of America. In my life I’ve seen the flag burned at home and abroad in protest of U.S. government policies. I’ve seen it worn as clothing (in defiance of protocol), and lowered to half staff in honor of lost patriots – military and civilian. I’ve flown it on my home to celebrate patriotic holidays. But what does it really mean to me?

I know what it meant to my Scots grandparents, who immigrated and became American citizens. I know how important it was to my Dad and his father (the son of German immigrants), both of whom served in the U.S. Army. To them, the flag represented choices and responsibility, opportunities and freedom.

Any flag is, after all, just a cloth rectangle, sewn with symbols. It has no intrinsic power, but it is a powerful symbol. Our flag represents the United States of America, where I was born. The “republic for which it stands” requires our allegiance as citizens. In our country, as in too few others, that includes a right and a responsibility to exercise our votes, express our opinions, and practice our faiths. We are expected to participate and contribute. That’s what makes a republic, or a democracy, work.

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  Flagsofnations

Flags at the Beijing Olympics

The Olympics are one of the places national identities are seen closely aligned to flags. Flags from around the world are displayed at many venues, and winners’ flags are raised at medal ceremonies. Spectators wave flags as their athletes are performing. At a speed skating event in Nagano, our Japanese hosts were ecstatic as the gold and silver went to their countrymen and their national anthem was played.

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 Stars and srtipes

Nagano Medal Ceremonies

Then, when the U.S. Women defeated Canada in ice hockey, it was our turn. We placed our hands over our hearts and sang aloud, and then it happened. We teared up. Right there in front of the whole world, we declared our allegiance by saluting the symbol of our republic, and we wept as we sang the last lines. 

And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
– Francis Scott Key, from the first verse of The Star-Spangled Banner
 

We’ve occasionally talked about becoming ex-patriots to help finance our retirement. Retiring here is costly, and healthcare costs are a real wild card right now. We have friends who will retire overseas, and I know some of our friends in the blogosphere have found very good situations living in other countries – mostly for financial rather than political reasons. I completely support and understand their decisions. And although they may live under other flags, they are still Americans.

I know the U.S. isn’t perfect, but for better or worse it will remain my home – in no small part because my family and my history are here. I’ll continue to vote my conscience and write to my congressmen. I’ll be here for the foreseeable future. And no matter where I am, when they play The Star-Spangled Banner, I reserve the right to mist up.

Happy Flag Day, wherever you are!

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Flag graphic from Wikipedia

Other related sites: 
http://www.usa-flag-site.org/history.shtml 
http://www.usa-flag-site.org/etiquette.shtml
 
 
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Future Challenge – Beating the Blues

Challenge #23

Into each life a little rain must fall…

Each of us has ways of dealing with life’s little troubles. Some of us get busy, and some of us can’t get going. Some eat and some fast. Some seek company and some seek solitude.

As we age, a number of things contribute to depression. There’s the feeling that we’ve lost some of our usefulness. There are aches and pains, and sometimes losses of hearing or vision.  Income is often reduced.  Spouses or partners may pass away or become ill.  Lots of new issues…

And there are lots of ways to overcome them – participating in clubs, organizations, and religious communities, taking up new hobbies, volunteering, and exercising/keeping fit are just a few.

So how do you beat the blues? And how do you plan to overcome the emotional challenges of aging?

As part of my retirement theme,  I offer this weekly Thursday “Future Challenge” to get people of all ages thinking in general about their futures and/or retirement. Each challenge goes with a post of my own on the same general topic. Hopefully we’ll start some interesting discussions!

If you’d like to share what you think, or post on it, that’s great – and I’d love it if you’d share those thoughts in a post or comment (please tag posts TRS Future Challenge and link to this post) so others can also see them.

If you choose not to share them, that’s fine too – but with any luck, you’ll still gain some insight on where you’re headed (or would like to be), and how you can get the most out of your own journey.

For my own take on this week’s challenge, see my post, Chasing the Blues Away.

Posted in Future Challenges, Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , | 16 Comments

Chasing the Blues Away

Yin_and_Yang.svgSerenity Prayer (from a longer poem by Reinhold Niebuhr)

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Okay, I’ve been away for a while, but I think I’m back now.

The last few weeks have brought a variety of tough paradigm shifts my way. We had our first Mother’s Day without our Mom, two of my friends lost parents, I watched my sister go through a life-changing move, and I was confronted with a difficult separation from someone I love very deeply.  Add to that the fact that my beloved’s work has been stressful, and, well, I’ve been a little blue.

I just haven’t felt like writing, or even reading, blogs. I apologize to those I regularly follow for my inattention. I’ll try to read through what I missed over the next few weeks.  And I’ll try to get back on track with my retirement planning and Future Challenge posts.

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After all, It hasn’t been all dreary over the last few weeks. We went on our first paddle of the year last weekend (with one of our grandsons), and  I was able to be there for his end of the year scouting event, which was really nice.

jessdressI helped my daughter make a new waistband and bow for my granddaughter’s prom dress (some giggles there), and my beloved and I enjoyed an Open Studio Day, visiting a variety of artists in Vermont.

P1130572This last activity was oddly calming. I think that’s because it took us completely away to something new, and reminded me how many ways people of all ages find for self-expression. Each artist happily fielded questions and shared perspective on process and technique that were really inspiring and fascinating.

P1130570We really loved some of the work, and even brought a few small pieces home. Other work didn’t catch our fancy, even when the artists themselves did. All in all, I realized that the creative process – whatever it is – is a very healthy and healing thing, and that I won’t really feel better until I can overlay my lingering sadness with some new growth. To change the things I can.

I have a few projects on the table – some gardening that needs attending, some small home repairs that will boost my feeling of accomplishment, and some work on a memory book and slideshow for an upcoming 50th reunion of my elementary school class.

I know that doing each of these things will bring me a little joy. It won’t make the sad stuff disappear, but it will give some balance back to my universe, and help me to appreciate the many wonderful things and people around me.

It’s very grey and a little humid outside today, but the birds in my yard are singing and swooping around like they’re planning a party. Life is a balancing act, and every day contains a little sadness and a little joy.

I’m off to find the joy.

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Yin-Yang symbol from Wikipedia

Glass by JMB Glass, Dish by Matthew Tell pottery

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Escape

I can think of of many places to which I love to escape…  northern New England, the Scottish Highlands, Hawaii, even just our local rivers, ponds, and hiking trails, or the pages of a book.

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Still, when I heard this week’s challenge, I laughed out loud. No photo says escape to me quite like this one of my daughter’s dog on Christmas morning, hiding from the noise and bedlam of the grandkids opening and enjoying their gifts!

Beanie hiding

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This post was written in response to the WordPress Daily Post’s Weekly Photo Challenge: Escape.  To learn more about this challenge, and to see other bloggers’ responses, click here.

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